Skip to main content

My Dad passed yesterday.

Pap's info is here

It's a funny thing, when you know someone has only a limited amount of time.  You wait for that phone call with a mixture of sadness and relief.   Relief in that person has moved on into a better world, or that their suffering has stopped.   In that, you no longer have to worry about them. 

It's also a phone call you dread, because that person brought you into the world...and now you are alone.

This is an article that I've started and stopped a thousand times.  We always were worried about my dad, much more than my mom.  When she died, it was more of a shock.  Even after 2 + years I'm still not sure if I'm done processing it.  Mostly I just miss talking to her.


My dad and I had a good relationship...but not much to talk about.   He was passionate about sports, where as I was more like my mother and was interested more in politics and world affairs.  Still though, we played catch for hours, he taught me to ride a bike.  

He woke up at 4 AM to take his nonathletic kid to hockey practice and soccer practice.  I don't think I ever heard him complain about how badly his boy sucked at sports.

My Dad taught me how to change a tire and the oil in the car, how to drive.  How to treat a woman. How to be a man.  He took pride in my bother and I, and I'm sure we caused him some pain as well.  You have nothing left but memories and impressions and the moral compass that was passed on by your parents.  


 

I often joke that I would be a lot more successful in life if my parents had not given us boys...morals.

I came across a quote.  “Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”

Joe Wilson was certainly the "good man" that people talk about.  Although he was reserved and quiet.  He was full of love.  He smile at that little girl or boy across the way and get them to smile back.  He would surprise you with a funny joke or comment that might come out of left field and get you laughing.  He was...is...a good man.


Sue and I were talking about this last night.  The million little sacrifices one makes for their kids...and how we never realize it at the time.  It's only when we are older, or have kids of our own that we understand all that they have given us.

Years ago I came across something.  It's influenced me my whole life although I can not remember what it was or where I read it.  Basically it is a simple belief.  We touch other lives in a magnitude of ways.  We hope it was for the better, we hope we leave a positive influence.   

My Dad certainly left a positive influence on my life, and the lives of the countless people that he called friend, lovers and family throughout his long life.  I could do worse than to try and live like he did.

Good night Dad.   I love you.

 

Please click here to read my mother's memorial.

 

 

Comments

Post a Comment

What all the cool kids are reading.

Calling in the professionals

 I come from a long line of guys that call in professionals.    Part of that reason is my own lazy nature, part of that reason is that I would rather have it down right the first time.  Everyone has their own skills and abilities, so why not call in an expert to have it done right the first time? In this case; why not seek advice in the battles against the invasives that have not only invaded my yard, but also a nearby piece of property that my neighbor simply refuses to take care of?  I find myself in a bind of my own design. I let part of my property "go wild" in the first place because that area had a lot of exposed roots, stumps and rocks.  At the time, I was not expecting a bunch of invasives, of which Mulitfora Rosa  is the worse of the bunch, to be a problem.  Yet, here we are. I decided to let parts of my yard "go wild" back in July of 2021.  It has proven to be a mistake, and in order for me to ensure that the invasive plants st...

Rain and tears and those damned deer. Gardening can be painful.

“ None of us understand what we're doing, but we do beautiful things anyway.” ― Allen Ginsberg   The weatherman stated that we have not had any significant rainfall in over two weeks.  Nor did he see any relief in site. We are not in drought conditions yet, we are just unusually dry.  Interestingly enough, Pennsylvania should be getting warmer and wetter in the future if the climate models hold true.  If we narrow that down even more to my home town , the picture becomes even more interesting.   Solar Punk Pittsburgh For now though, I was worried about my garden.   It is not that big, I basically have a variety of containers around where I am maintaining lettuce, leeks, tomato's, peppers, strawberries, grapes, sunchokes (which I was really interested in growing) and a few other things.     Every garden needs to be watered and I played around with the idea of a r ain water collection systems before, we even had a simple one i...

Getting things done. Small victories add up.

In the new TV show Fallout there is a great line.  " The Golden Rule of the wasteland is thou shalt be distracted by bullshit every single time." I've never played the game it is based on but the picture shows the two newest distractions in my life.  We have taken care of our former neighbors barn cats since he moved out nearly a year ago.   Long story short the mama cat gave birth in his barn that we we given access to.  We found four little black long hair kittens and decided to take them, as it would probably be the only time we would be able to catch them.   Much to our surprise after a day or so the mama came over and started to milk them laying on our kitchen floor.  She's comes in, feeds them and then goes back outside.  Once they are mature enough to have them fixed we are planning on doing so and then they will go to a good home.   That's the plan...but plans have a tendency to change as one or two of them are findi...