Skip to main content

Memento Mori

I am driving into the sunset.  The colors of the sky are brilliant; as pinks, oranges and reds dominate the skyline.  The sun continues to set and the palate changes into the darker hues.  It feels as if I'm driving into heaven itself as I make my way down some random country lane.

Change and loss have been on my mind a lot this October.  We celebrated the second anniversary of our move from Florida quietly.  We remembered the passing of my mother quietly and are dealing with the loss of Susan's father the best we can.   Her father passed earlier this evening.

It's only a matter of time for my father as well. Death and change have been on my mind as of late.  

How do you deal with the passing of a parent?  How do you deal with the the realization of our own mortality?  Because like it or not we are next in line.  

The coming days will be filled with grief as Susan’s family members say goodbye to their Dad.  I will be there beside them to provide what comfort I can.  One of the biggest regrets I have in my life was not being there to provide comfort for another important woman in my life when her mother died.  I will not fail this one.

We have spoken briefly about her beliefs.  She feels that there is more to this world as well although she cannot define what that is.  I understand that.  It is like an early morning fog that obscures our view of the valley below.  We know it’s there, we know it’s beautiful but we cannot see it yet.

So we wait for the fog to lift and we enter the valley. 

 

When I talk about wanting to plant fruit trees on my property and leave behind a yard full of edible and medicinal plants for the next generation, that will be my legacy.  I'm basically trying to help the next generation along.  I'm doing my small part to fight climate change.  It's my hope that some wandering souls in the wasteland that my generation helped create will take refuge here and give thanks.   

 I am not going to bore you, gentle reader, with philosophical or religious texts.  Although I will say this, that I do believe is something greater than this world...although what it is defies any rational or logical thought.  This world is too beautiful and mysterious.The fact that the leaves change from green to red and gold only to fall upon the ground and provide food and nutrients to the tree is the providence of science.   The fact that we can take comfort in and recognize the beauty of those falling leaves in another thing entirely.

While I am in no hurry to die, I do not fear death.  For I will return to the natural world. 

If anything scares me...it is the fact that I will stop "living".  That the joys of this world - the kiss and touch of a wonderful woman, the subtle joys of a good wine or tasteful dish...the ability of music to shake our very souls...will simply cease to be experienced.  That is what I fear.

Remember that you to are mortal.

Labels:
Location: Stoneboro, PA 16153, USA

Comments

Post a Comment

What all the cool kids are reading.

The summer that I go to war

When I first moved into my house some five, nearly six year ago, one of the first things I noticed was that we had a tree out back that was nearly strangled by an invasive woody vine called Oriental Bittersweet.   At the time I didn't think much about it as other more pressing problems, like a new roof and insulated windows, came first.  Other problems and projects kept pushing that "little issue" back onto the corners of my mind.   Small "little issues" tend to become bigger ones.  Oriental Bittersweet That's the problem with home ownership, their is always "one more project."  One more bill. I was considering where to plant the Pawpaw and new Bur Oak   and this corner seemed to be a very good option.  That's when I noticed my problem,  I have several Multiflora Rosa growing in my "wilds" and one that somehow I've missed over the last few years, it's become rather well established.   The Oriental Bittersweet was reaching o...
Post a Comment
Read more

Digging in the dirt

In a lot of ways I feel rejuvenated.  It's a glorious morning as I am driving down to Pittsburgh with the local radio station playing a mix of old and new that elevates my mood, the sun shining strong through the sun roof.   I am on my way to buy plants.   I have a list in my pocket and I expect that I'll be coming home with a few of them.  I had hoped to buy spicebush and maybe serviceberry , in addition to what I did end up buying.  As I talk to people there, I use the term " food forest " because that's about the closest definition to what I'm trying to do, although it's also not the best one.     What I'm more interested in doing is creating a refuge.  A place for a weary traveler in the future to stop, rest under the trees and have access to wild strawberries and blueberries (which sadly didn't take last year), apples etc.   A place of respite rather than a place that can self maintain itself over time, although I do...
Post a Comment
Read more

Why didn't Erie, PA develop into a bigger city?

          Recently I had to travel up to Erie, PA for business.   It's about an hour north of me and is a rather small city, having just under 100 thousand people living in it.   It played an important role in the founding of America,  - where it was the headquarters for Oliver Perry's flagship Niagara during the battle of Like Erie in the war of 1812 .            It was also a important shipping center, being Pennsylvania's only access to the Great Lakes which was the easiest way to trade with parts of Canada at the time as well as move goods to the cities of Detroit and Chicago, which in the mid to early 1800's were just starting to develop.  It was also directly north from Pittsburgh which was a major industrial city at that time.     Yet Erie never really grew beyond it's humble beginnings and I wondered why.   Like any good sleuth I turned to the intern...
3 comments
Read more