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Teri McDonough Wilson - now memories are all I have

 I don't have a photograph of her.


That's what I remember thinking when I learned she had recently passed.  I'm sure somewhere in the boxes scattered throughout my life here in Western Pennsylvania is a picture of Teri and I.  We were married 10 days after September 11th, 2001.  

I still remember the day of our marriage, as we scrambled to make sure that we had a backup best man and a backup "father to give away the bride" just in case my best man, who was in the Air Force at the time; and her brother (Navy) were called off to active duty.

It was a wonderful open-air wedding with great food and lots of dancing and seemed like a great start to our lives. Two young people ready to take on the world.   Needless to say, the world won.

Our relationship started off well but by the economic collapse of 2007/2008 we started to show signs of stress.  Sadly, I lost my job and fell into a deep depression, I often say that I was "frozen" as I seemed unable to take care of even the most basic of tasks.   She had her own concerns and instead of being partners to help each other through this mess.... we moved in two different directions.

I knew it was over when I went to visit her in a hospital after she had some sort of procedure done...and all we could do was scream at each other.

I moved out of the house we shared in Pittsburgh and pretty much left everything to her.  Shortly after I moved to Florida on a whim and found myself starting over.

I don't even have a photograph of us.

Time heals all wounds and we moved on.   Slowly we started to talk to each other again.  She and I met other people, she got the family that she always wanted and become an adopted mother and grandmother to a large family.  Somehow, we become friends and forgave each other for the pain and hurt that we caused each other.

I knew she was happy as she cooked for this newfound family and taught the youngest generation how to cook.   To know Teri was to be fed by Teri.   I last spoke to her on Thanksgiving Day....and we talked about an hour or so, about family and being thankful and yes; about food too.

Our mutual love of food was one of the reasons we found each other, as was our silly sense of humor.  We danced in kitchens, in parks and on street corners because we could and it was fun.  She was one of the few people in my life that I can honestly say caused me to belly laugh consistently. 

Sadly, Teri's health was always a concern.  She had been born with a hole in her heart, a physical condition because spirit wise her heart was never ill.  Her brother put it best at the funeral.  A hole in the heart is a contagious condition.

She had two heart attacks during out marriage, and a horrible miscarriage.  I came home from work that day and thought I entered a murder scene.  I nearly fainted when I learned that I was going to be a father.

Still though, we had dogs and cats running about.  We had friends and wonderful dinners and more good days than bad. 

I'll miss her.  

Her death was unexpected, despite her health, and somehow this seems to be affecting me harder than it should.  It's been years since I last saw her...and our lives are truly separate now.   Yet, she kept my last name all this time.

I just always expected her to be there.   Much like I expect my beloved Susan to always be there for me.

A part of me has, and will, always love her.  Good night, Teri.

Photos of Teri are available here if you would like to have an idea of the type of person she was.

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Location: Stoneboro, PA 16153, USA

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