Skip to main content

Update from the outpost.


I've started and stopped this article several times now as I assessed my mental state over the last couple of weeks.  However I did not publish anything because all the previous drafts made me think that I was whining.

Part of that "whining" was deciding to leave my job as of September 5, 2023.  It's easy to blame someone else, and the company I left does have some serious issues that they simply are not addressing, but the final responsibility for leaving is mine.  I just felt like I had nothing to contribute nor was the company addressing my needs and wants.   

Money really isn't everything.

I quickly interviewed for several jobs, but in the end decided to take something "completely different" for a bit.  I can always go back into insurance and banking...but my needs and priorities have changed.   In fact, I was offered a "Green" job with an energy company that really excited me.  However when I stopped and thought about what I would be doing and what that job involved, it quickly occurred to me that I just be repeating the behaviors that made me unhappy in the first place.

Even though I thought I would do well at this job...I wasn't going to repeat the same mistakes I have in the past.  It's an overused cliche but depression feeds itself by repeating the same behaviors that didn't work the first time. 

For me, it's a matter of being happy and it occurred to me that I wasn't happy for sometime.  I had, more or less, given up on my insurance job months before.   That what made me the happiest was working around other people where the goals of my job were understandable and attainable.  

I had started working at the hotel where my wife works for the "sanity" of being around other people just about a year ago.  A year later I still enjoy going in that one day a week to do a little bit of everything.

I didn't want a career anymore as much as a job.  Something that I could do for a few hours.  Something that I know that I can do well, and then leave all the issues and stress behind.  I found something like that outside of the motel (which simply could not pay me a living wage).

I start my new job on September 6th, and I hope I've made the right decisions.  However you never know if you made the right choice till your aware of the consequences of that decision.  

In this case I'll be traveling 30 minutes to work one way, which is going to increase my carbon footprint but I'll be doing some environmental work and learning new skills.   If I hit my goals, I will actually be making a bit more money due to bonuses and incentives than I currently make, but I'll be making significantly less per hour.

While I'm not working in a "Green Field" at least I'll be able to contribute to the betterment of the world in some small way by working with green products.  Sometimes it's all we can ask for.

At the ripe old age of 57, I find myself becoming more "radicalized" when it comes to things like the environment, and even politics.  

What I'm going to do...I've not figured out yet.  But I am on the right path, on that I am sure.  What interests me at this stage of the game is what I can do to promote gardening, sustainability, alternative energy and the threats of global warming.  I would like to find work that promotes that.

My original degree is in education, and yes I have though about reentering that field because I might be able to plant a seed or two in a young person's mind.  However teaching today is not what is back in the mid to late 90's when I earned my degree....and frankly I believe I would be better off teaching college than middle or high school.

Still though, there are lessons to be learned, and I'm not the young man I was back then.  It's an idea that I planted in the back of my mind.  We will see if it germinates.

I also know that all the little steps that I take, that we all need to take, help in some way.  From my eating vegan/vegetarian several meals a week to using reusable shopping bags.   All there little steps help, and I wish I started sooner.  

As far as my mental state goes, I'm doing OK.  I just got to keep using all those little tricks and skills that I've learned along the way.  


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

What all the cool kids are reading.

Honoring the past - Thinking more about "invasive" plant species.

 Recently I've been giving some thought to invasive species.  I had received both positive and negative feedback on the blog post concerning kudzu and recently I came across a very well hidden, and very small, wild cherry tree while doing some yard work.  Since it's against the house it would have to be removed since the root systems could damage my foundation.   A buddy of mine at work was asking if I was going to transfer it, his logic being that it was a fruiting tree that would not only attract a variety of pollinator's but that the deer would eat the bark and cherries, keeping them away from the garden (which Sue and I swore we were not going to do this year).  It occurred to me that I was going to have to do a slightly better job of identification, since black cherries are native to America , where as other types of cherries are not.  Being able to make a precise identification would be helpful.   I used to be able to identify all these tre...
Post a Comment
Read more

A sense of time in place - traveling in Central PA

One of the first items that Sue and I bought as a couple all those years ago was a grandfather clock.  We used to snuggle under the blanket and listen to the chimes on the hour, the sound filling our house with a warmth and resonance.   That clock is nothing special, being simple in its design and technology.  It's accurate because of the beauty of physics and math...and is a lost art form in its own right. I thought a lot about time and place as we traveled this week.  I thought a lot about place.   Sue and I finally took a brief vacation recently.  Due to circumstances beyond our control, every plan we had made to get away earlier in the year came to naught.  My father became ill and ended up in the hospital which we decided to stay home "just in case."  He ended up in the hospital at least three times this past year, and I decided to spend what time I could with him. Family, after all, is what brought us back to Pennsylvania. We had p...
3 comments
Read more

Maybe we need to rethink invasive species???

Hi. As the writer of the post and feel that I need to clarify something. I do not advocate the planting of invasive species. The point that I'm trying to make, and clearly didn't, is that perhaps we should be thinking about an invasive species in a different light. Apples, figs and other crops are clearly non native to America and Europe but are widely cultivated because they have use to humans as a food source, animal feed, etc. Kudzu is an edible plant and although it is clearly harmful can it be used someway by humans? It's a food source, it's been used as a cloth and is showing some use as a building material. All I'm trying to do is to create discussion on how we can use invasive plants in new ways.   It's mid April here in Western Pennsylvania and so far it's been warm and wet.  The buzz of lawnmowers fill the air as I gallivant through my back yard collecting dandelions to make some tea and bread with them.  I had always known that they w...
Post a Comment
Read more