Is it time to go all in? At a cross roads

    In the last post I asked if I hated living in the country. I answered with a pretty subjective "No."  There are parts of it I am not fan of.  One of the reasons I agreed to move to the country is that I was hoping to make a change in my lifestyle.

    I've never been afraid of hard work, I used to work 60 hour weeks right out of college when I worked for an engineering firm.  I've owned my own company in one form or another sine 2008, which has supplemented my main income and padded both my retirement savings and paid for vacations.  I have discovered however that hard work in the country is not the same of the hard work of a city mouse.

  However, I'm tired and burned out.   I find myself wanting to retire more and more and enjoy my time here and now.  Full retirement for me is still twelve years away and age 70 would probably make more sense.     Given another year, both cars will be paid off in full as well as a personal loan.   Within two years, our credit cards will be paid in full.  At the risk of sounding like an asshole, we did it right.

    In other words, other than the house payment, we are pretty much debt free.  The thing that scares me however is a possible change in my job which could easily throw my plans all our of whack.  When I left Tampa for Pennsylvania the division I worked for told me they would allow me to work from home on a permanent basis.        However I got promoted and moved into a different division of the company last year.  Now I have to go to Cleveland at least two or three days a week starting sometime in October or November.   

    These plans are tenuous at best as Covid is wrecking havoc in the states of Texas, Florida and Ohio.  Which just happens to be the states were our centers are located.   New York Life if headquartered in New York City.  There is a possibility that we could spend another year working from home.   Which makes the argument that we should go back to the office harder to make.

    If my company does make me go back into the office two or more consecutive days, then that throws a monkey wrench into my financial plans because now we are spending more money on gas and even possibility hotel rooms. 

    

A possible double garage

    I moved to the country to avoid city life, to simplify things, to plant my own food.  While I had no intentions of becoming a homesteader, parts of that lifestyle - being more self sufficient, do appeal  to me.  

    Frankly the only way for me to learn how to plant and garden, the only way for me to fish and prep my own fish, or even go hunting is to just go and do it.   Until I do, I'm just skirting the edges of things.

    Going "all in" to me means that I either figure out how to be a self sufficient homesteader come high or hell water, and find another job that is "local.".    Or finally stay where I'm at.   

    That is why I am having sleepless nights now. 

    We did not get as much done last year as I would have liked - such as planting a garden -and I know that for us to make the last few improvements to this house (remodel the bathrooms, the kitchen and add a "shed style" garage) will take about 25 to 30K.   We will be doing some of the work ourselves and have some of the materials already.

    We are also talking about adding solar power and Susan would like gas in the kitchen, however those things are not priced yet and not included in the final cost estimate.  Although I would not be surprised if that cost another 10K.  A remodel is a good investment however.

    All of this of course takes time and that is something I would not have running back and forth to work in an office roughly two hours away two or three days out of every week.  We are two...maybe three years from being in a financial state to complete everything at once, but that depends on some things. 

    It sounds like I'm being a whiny little jerk, and there are other reasons that I wish to stay home. However those reasons are kept private for a variety of reasons.    Personally I don't care if you know my situation or not, other family members do.   As such I can't discuss some of the other reasons we wish to stay home more.

     So frankly I can't leave my job anytime soon...and even if I did, I will never get the benefits I have currently.    However if I'm being completely honest with myself, I am burned out and tired of it.

    I don't care for this life of ours to be so much up in the air...and that's the biggest issue that I have right now.    Not knowing what the future holds.   My job is determining what that is...and right now I don't know what my job is going to bring.

 

**UPDATE**    I decided that I needed to have something "local" which to me means anything within 45 - 60 minute drive time.  I have some leads and some options so now it's just a matter of making the right choices.    I'll never get the benefits I have now again, I know that.    However I don't believe I'll have any work - life balance staying where I am at.