It's been a few days since I've been able to put electronic pen to electronic paper so to speak. This was due to the untimely death of my mother, Patrica Ann Wilson or simply Pat as many of her friends and family called her.
Like any mother she could be a pain in the ass, loving, supportive and making her son's crazy at the same time. However she always believed in and supported my brother Gary and I whenever and however she could.
The funny thing is that Sue and I moved back to Pennsylvania because we knew that our parents were getting older, and that we wanted to spend more time with them. Now this happens with us being less than two months in the area. At least my mother got to see our new home.
I'm sure that she probably thought we were crazy to move this far out into the country, where are nearest neighbors really are a horse named Billy and a goat named Nanny.
The funny thing is that I've always found solace in nature. As far back as I can remember, despite being a "city mouse", whenever I found myself depressed or needing a break from the world, I would wonder off to a city park or nearby woods and just hike around a bit, close my eyes and listen to the birds, and just breath in nature for a moment.
I'm surrounded by the beauty of the world now, and as Sue drove home, I could look out the windows and watch the leaves change. I was able to watch as a family of deer as they frolicked in the fields.
I could let myself mourn a bit, getting past the initial shock and trying to make sure that my father - a self confessed "kept man" for the last twenty years or so, had enough money in the bank for food and other needs. My mother was a bank manager, real estate agent and financial consultant at one time and I think she influenced both my bother and I to enter the financial industry in our own ways, he's a banker and I am a Insurance Agent and Broker.
My mother was very good at her job and set them both up in a very stable way, my father will be able to live out the rest of his life in comfort. My mother made sure of that.
I've done what I can for now to make sure that all is arranged, that all is organized, my mother made sure of that. She knew her kids would be a freaking mess.
Maybe, just maybe I can mourn now, however I'm also afraid that if I start to cry...I'm not going to be able to stop.
So I do what ever I can do to distract myself, reading and watching video's about everything that I should be doing at this moment to make our gardens in the spring thrive.
Somewhere, somehow in my life I found a love. Despite her initial misgivings over Sue, she came to love her...mostly because she saw that Sue loved me in much the same way that she loved my Dad.
It's hard to think of her in the "past tense." I'm sure that at the viewing she will be surrounded by family, friends and others who lives she touched. She was a fun loving woman, alive to the very end. Her death is a shock but she believed in an heaven and an afterlife and I've no doubt that if such a thing exists, she is there.
I love you Mom. Thank you for making me into the man that I am today. Thank you for your support, your words of wisdom, and yes, even a few slaps to the backside. I'll miss out talks, although those will still continue - maybe, just maybe I'll win our friendly debates.
Thank you for everything. I love you Mom.
My sympathy for your loss! I met Pat and Joe in Florida through Bunnie and always found her to be a funny, fun loving, caring person. We enjoyed performing in Sleepy Hollow's Park One's spring play. I'm so happy to have those wonderful memories and the opportunity to meet this terrific lady! Give your Dad a hug and tell him I am saddened to hear this news but grateful for your sharing!
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