Skip to main content

Kaleidoscope - rambling on about life

I'm not sure if kids today have ever played with a Kaleidoscope.  You used to be able to buy this silly little toy, which consisted of two or more refractive surfaces in the tube, at any toy store.  Turn it one way and see one colorful pattern, turn it another and see a completely different pattern.  The number of patterns depended on a couple of things which I’m not going to go into here.


Kaleidoscopes however are a thing of the past.  Simple little toys that didn’t beep or let you beat up hookers or kill Big Bad Monsters.  There was no winners, no losers.   There were only moments of simple fleeting beauty.

Relationships, particularly family relationships are a kaleidoscope.  For example, my brother and I are only 3 years apart in age, grew up in the same home and were raised by the same parents, but we were raised by two completely different people and have two completely separate memories of events.

Turn the tube slightly and entirely new patterns appear. 

I thought about that as I listened quietly to the stories of Susan’s family members concerning their recently passed father.  I thought about the conversations that my brother and I have had concerning our family.

Just as the kaleidoscope shows you fleeting moments of beauty, there are fleeting moments in life to reconnect to the things that really matter; that being family and friends.

As I write this the woman I love is sleeping in bed, I hear her roll over and sigh as she makes herself comfortable.  She has grown used to me waking up at 6:30 or so.  She has grown used to my typing away.   She’s not sure why I have to do this, writing a blog that nearly no one actually bothers to read, but here I am.   She accepts that.

It’s a turn of the knob and the beauty falls into place.

We have reached an age where some of our friends are no longer with us, and it seems hard to make new friends.  So we reach out to old friends and hold them tight, remembering old stories and laughing over silly times.

Like that Christmas party/gift exchange where the most sought after gift was a trash can with a smiley face on it.   You had to be there to understand, but even now I smile at the memory. 

As I race towards retirement – and frankly it can’t get here soon enough – I worry that we will not be ready for it or that we will not have enough money.  Sue smiles.  “We will find a way, we always do.” She says.  I believe her.

It’s the turn of a knob and beauty falls into place.

If there is a point to any of this, and I’m not sure if there is…it has to be found in the change of seasons.  The smile of a happy baby, the old couple holding hands as they walk slowly away.  The surety that the sun will set only to raise in the morning and this old Earth will continue to turn.  That we are here to help each other through this mess of a life the best that we can.

To enjoy those fleeting moments when the kaleidoscope falls into place and perfect moments of color burst through the grayness of life. 

No, I'm not depressed although I do feel for my extended family.  I'm going to try and find more color to celebrate life.   I'm going to look through that Kaleidoscope. I am going to celebrate those fleeting moments when everything falls into place and the world bursts into color.

Labels:
Location: Stoneboro, PA 16153, USA

Comments

Post a Comment

What all the cool kids are reading.

Rain and tears and those damned deer. Gardening can be painful.

“ None of us understand what we're doing, but we do beautiful things anyway.” ― Allen Ginsberg   The weatherman stated that we have not had any significant rainfall in over two weeks.  Nor did he see any relief in site. We are not in drought conditions yet, we are just unusually dry.  Interestingly enough, Pennsylvania should be getting warmer and wetter in the future if the climate models hold true.  If we narrow that down even more to my home town , the picture becomes even more interesting.   Solar Punk Pittsburgh For now though, I was worried about my garden.   It is not that big, I basically have a variety of containers around where I am maintaining lettuce, leeks, tomato's, peppers, strawberries, grapes, sunchokes (which I was really interested in growing) and a few other things.     Every garden needs to be watered and I played around with the idea of a r ain water collection systems before, we even had a simple one i...
2 comments
Read more

Rebirth has come at last - reason to hope on Earth Day

I could not let this Earth Day pass without acknowledging some things.  So let's talk about success stories, and why we should have hope for the future. For the first time in a long time I have hope in the environmental movement.  Yes, there are still a lot of climate change deniers out there - and they are becoming more doomsayers than anything.   I used to be one of them, a doomsayer, meaning that I didn't have much hope for the future, and would gladly tell you we were fucked six ways from Sunday.   We still are in a lot of ways...but like the first flowers that are poking through their lovely heads through the ground...we have reasons to hope. In some ways I believe that the pandemic was a shot in the arm for the environmental moment.   Bird watching boomed.  People had time to watch nature shows and documentaries.  Home cooking became something pleasurable for people to do again.  Frankly my interest in cheese making flourishe...
1 comment
Read more

You don't give up, you never give up.

 I'm really not in the mood for this.  It's raining again and I am on the phone making calls and sending emails and texts; letting myself get frustrated over things that I know, deep down in my soul, that I can not control. I'm very disappointed in people right now.  Roughly two weeks or so ago I started on a quest to find a small flock of goats of clear some land.   I have made phone calls, texted people, contacted websites and made inquires on sources like Reddit and Facebook.   I even spoke to a few Amish that live in the area.    Leads were given to me by various sources, companies were found and contacts made via text and voice mail, however, no one got back to me.   Not a single one.   No call back from the local 4 - H club.  No call back from the goat farmer.  Emails went unanswered.   Well that's not true.  One company did get back to me but the cost was higher than I expected.  Actual...
Post a Comment
Read more